Memories that a child would never forget, no matter how life changes. I learned to let go of the anger, hate and bitterness so that i would not repeat the same cycle. I am a father of four wonderful kids and a husband. I have been through so much pain as a child and through my teenage years, that i wasn't afraid of nothing but being a bad father and husband! For a long time I thought god forgot about me. My Mother had it rough growing up with an abusive mother and father. Her father molested her and violently beat her and her brothers and sisters. Her oldest sister got pregnant by my grandfather (her father) and had two kids by him. My grandmother was too afraid to stop him, fearing that he would lash out at her. My mother met a guy walking home from high school. She liked him very much. She thought she found a way out of her situation. So they dated for a while and she got pregnant, and I was born. He left her denying me as his son. He said "he was to young to be a dad." This is where my story starts. My mother didn't stay single for long she met what she thought would be the love of her life and my stepfather. I'm five years old now and I'm waking up in the hospital with my mother looking down at me crying, telling me she should of been there. I was riding a skateboard on my stomach and got hit by a car. Breaking my collar bone and fracturing my skull. I was in the hospital for two months before I went to social services. I was there a couple of weeks before they let me go home with my mom. Things got better for a while (so I thought) my mom had two more kids by my stepfather a boy and a girl and I'm 8 and this would be the starting point of the worst 4 years of my life. My stepfather would come home drunk and just start pounding on my mother like she was a man. I'm scared as hell I tried to get in between them. Then he would take out his aggression on me. He would punch on me so hard I thought he would kill me if he didn't stop. Now my mom gets involved, he leaves me alone and just starts tearing her clothes off and has sex with her right in front of me. He makes me watch them. This is the worst night of my life. (so i thought) He passes out on the floor, I'm so scared to move my mom grabs me by the hand and takes me to the kitchen i just start crying grabbing my mothers leg, squeezing so tight telling my mom "lets leave, its not safe here". She looks at me and says where we gonna go. He started drinking every night the beatings and sexual assaults got more extreme. One night he comes home high and drunk, my mom tells us to play like we were sleeping. I'm laying in my bed with my heart pounding so hard, praying that he would pass out again or that my real father would finally come and save us, anything! Just the opposite, they start fighting again with him yelling and hitting her, god help us. All of a sudden they stop fighting and I'm scared to even move but i get up to see if my moms alright, I peak my head out the doorway and see him looking out the window.He walks in his room and closes the door. So i quickly run to the window and look out and there she is laying in the snow, naked. I ran down stairs so fast, please don't die mommy. I helped her to her feet, thank god she is alright. When we got back to our place he was passed out in his room. My mom stayed in our room that night. I didn't sleep, scared he would come in the room to get her, but he didn't. The next day would be the day i would never forget. He came home loaded again, except this time he wasn't yelling, he just sat on the couch and started drinking, being nice to us. It was Friday, he told me i could stay up and watch TV all night. It was around eleven and he was still drinking. My mother and I was on the couch watching TV. Then he looks over at her with his eyes so red, it looked like pure evil! He grabs her by the hand and takes her to the kitchen. Their in there for at least an half an hour before he calls me in. I'm scared, what now, all of a sudden I see my mother naked on the table and my (stepfather) naked in front of her. He grabs me and forces me to perform horrific acts on my mother and him. Then he calls my brother into the kitchen and forces him on my mother as well. During this hell he tells me to wake up my other brother and sister. We cried, pleaded and begged that we was enough and please don't take this any further. So we didn't have to wake them, it was the longest night of my life. The things me and my brother had to do that night would stay with me forever. I lost my faith in God that night. How could he allow a monster like this to hurt us, do these horrific things to us. Was this my destiny, is this my fate? These questions were answered when I had my first child. Looking at my son made me realize it wasn't destiny, fate, or god. Its us, we choose whether to give up , to blame the world or we can change it. Will power is a strength we all have inside ourselves, to be better leaders in life. You cant plan your destiny but u can BREAK THE MOLD! I changed my fate to have a better destiny.WE ALL CAN!
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