Kate i understand it is very difficult to fight with nature. You shouldalways do things what you like best never try to do things what you dont like. About your relation with the girl. It just depends how that girl takes it . If you tell her your feelings and she make a fun of it then trust me you would fall under great depression. I am man but due to my good relationship with girl i understand thier feelings. So ty to give a check . Kate remember a realtion between a boy and a girl is most beautiful relation on this earth if it has innocent meaning. Dating is not love caring is love. may be there is some boy around you who can bring you out of all this. Give him a chance