Thank you for replying to my post. first off, I am and have been asking myself as to why it's so hard for me to let this go and I guess the only reason I keep coming up with is this, I wish I would have been the first to do anything with her from taking her virginity to exploring our sexuality which by the way she says that I'm the first to actually let her do what she please and she does enjoy this. I am coming to grips with my feelings and feel it's bringing me closer to her. But from time to time I fall into these depressing feelings and let them get the best of me. I think the last time I felt like this was approximatley 5 years ago. This feeling comes and goes and we are still together so I guess thats a good thing. Prayer has played a big part in my situation and can only hope it will enventually fade. I was wondering if I was the only one going through this type of situation. thank you for your input.