Why cant I let it go???

[dextro123]

everybody has a past, even you. You must also fall in love with some other women and perhaps having sex with her before you meet your present wife. That's exactly the same thing that happen with your wife. it's just that the girl you make love with at that time was not the wife of her cousin.
So don't take it as she make love with your cousin husband. It's just she a woman making love with a man before she finally met you. cheers!

[russelA]

the thing you have in your mind is the ones making you feel like that. just let go of the past and accept your wife as she is. it is getting harder to let go of the thought if you are still thinking about it over and over again. she is now your wife and she's not making anything to break the rules of your marriage. if you really love your wife, then accept everything and forget all the things that might hurt you. she's right that is was part of her past that doesn't need to be brought back again.

[waster]

try hard u ll get over it dear

[nantien]

its easy, youre looking for a reason to leave, and ur using this old info as the way out, putting blame on her..............be a man.tell her u dont love her, and leave without making her the badguy........just a marrriage that the love has died in.no charge!

[ashwell]

Well incidents like this can take a heavy toll on the mind understandably, but as you have said that the case is too old and further you also love her. So taking into account these points why dont you look for the positives rather than rewinding yourself? Again this may sound harsh but if you have an intend to take a revenge or anything sort of this then you can find yourself another woman with whom you can have an affair just to make her feel. But still this will not be a good idea, things resolved mutually will benefit both I feel.

[abbiedoobie]

Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Only you can control your psychological state and mind set.

[JacobJen]

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[judysmith]

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[Lwilliams]

Hello all, quick history on my situation. Married-going on twelve years, mid thirties.wife early thirties. Lately we (and I mean "I") have been brigning up her old "flames" while making love asking her specific questions on what she has actually done. Handjobs in highschool, places where she had sex and stuff like that. Now before we got together she had sex with my cousins husband not knowing he was married and soon broke it off after finding out the truth. now this happend almost thirteen years ago and I am still having a huge problem letting it go, it's tearing me apart inside. I have tried to bury it deep inside me but just dont know how to do it matter of fact just recently it has been out of control, now I dont lash out at her or our kids it's just something inside that is killing me.I talked to her about it and she says thats just part of her history and I know that she is right, I know it's me I just want to find a way to get rid of this feeling I have inside. I do love this woman and I feel Im shutting her out unintentionally. Anybody out there have a similiar situation happen to them and how did you cope with it?? Thanks for listening.

Of course everyone has a past, but I agree with blurred on getting to know someone before entering into a marriage contract with them. If it was any other form of contract, you'd do research & check references, etc... Why not for marriage. Who wants to deal with some psycho a month into things?
Cheers.
Linda

[fadedsquare]

take heart..cheer up