I need an ear - and some advice

[argilestox]

Well, I tried not to respond to this post - However, it got the best of me... At one time, I was renting a room from a very educated, attractive woman. Each evening we would have dinner together, and talk about our day (work & other topics that came to mind).

One day, she said, "Argile, why have you not flirted or made any moves to indicate you are attracted to me?" This was a tough question to answer. I was indeed attracted to her; however, our religious belief systems were not compatible. In addition, I worked long hours and could not sustain a long term relationship, at the time. I thought for a moment, and answered her this way:

"From the day I moved in I was very attracted to you. Giving a great deal of thought to our discussions over the dinner table - I found that our religious beliefs were not compatible. If you remember, I did attend a few Sunday Services with you, and listened while you sang in the choir. I can not be as "into" religion as you are. In addition, even if I were to take a leap of faith and begin a serious - not a casual relationship with you, and it did not work out; it would be very uncomfortable for both of us."

She thought long and hard for a moment, sighed - and said, "You are the most honest man I have ever met and I respect your opinions & beliefs."

The subject was not brought up again - I ended up being her "guy advisor" and would meet every one she would go on dates with. After a year, I eventually moved to another state - and she married a guy who I thought would make her very happy - and has.

Your situation is very complex. In a nut-shell, I would move to another apartment - maybe share an apartment with another female (that is safe -unless she is gay; then you will have another mess on your hands).

Every day that goes by - in your current situation, will be one heart-break after another. It appears to me - from the information that you have provided, that this fellow is satisfied with you sexually - for as long as it lasts. In addition, he has another "go to girl" if you were to move out of the house and his life.

Even if the relationship were to end with the other woman, he will find another to satisfy his sexual needs. You are a "nester" and he is a "free spirit" who, at this time in his life - just wants the physical & sexual aspects of a relationship - not the tangible committed side of a relationship.

Geez! I am rambling on! Good luck. Everyone on this message board will hope that you make the right decision, that is best for you and your children.

Argile Stox