your in a bit of a bind, but I was in a somewhat similar situation. When my son was 8 months old me and his mom did not get along, I was miserable and her parents hated me and made things very difficult for me. I know growing up in a home full of negativity can harm the child, I went through it growing up and I didnt want my kid growing up in a negative environment. I decided to leave because of this reason. Sometimes it is better to make the hard decision before they get much older. The younger they are the more likely they will accept the change, teenagers will fight you every step of the way. If you decide to call if quits with your husband make sure the kids know it wasnt because of them. I felt responsible when my parents divorced when I was 7.