Friend Situation

[babybaby]

Ok, so how do I begin this post. A couple of months ago, around summer time, I made this long post explaing my situation between me and my friend. I had strong feelings for her, but we had known each other for a long time and I did not know how to approach the situation. Long story short, I grew the courage to tell her how i felt.

The conversation went well in the sense that she was not freaked out by my telling her this; however, she made the point that she just wanted to remain friends. This did hurt for a little while, but I got over it. Suprisingly, after that converstaion there was no akwardness between us. In fact, we became even closer.

Now to explain my current situation. I understood when she told me she just wanted to remain friends. I respect her feelings, which is what makes my situation all the more akward. Recently we've been hanging out a lot, even more than we used to, and we've been hanging out alone. I feel that she might have feelings for me, but I can't tell for sure. She treats me differently than other guys. I for a while thought that this was because we were good friends, but she has a couple of other close guy friends and does not treat them the same way. Whenever we go out we can almost talk for hours, the conversation never becomes boring. Also many people tend to ask us if we are a couple or not. I have dated before, and I can usually tell when I girl is flriting with me, but I just can't figure it out with her. If any other girl acted the way she did, I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind whether she liked me or not. One of my friends doesn't understand her. Whenever we're all together, he says we act like were flirting with each other. Everything between us is playfull. There is a lot of physical contact as well. I'm sorry about this stream of thoughts going on her, hopefully you call can follow long. Any ways here is my dilema.

I have no idea what to do. I would love to talk to her about this, but I feel as if I can't. She told me she wanted to stay friends a couple of months ago, and I think it would just seeem weird if I bring up the same topic again. In a worse case scenario, she would think that I'm not getting the hint that she does not like me. The worse thing, however, is that I would normally ask for her advice on this type of situation, but now she is involved and I can't. I was thinking maybe I should just go for it, and maybe try and kiss her or something if the moment was right but it scares the crap out of me to think of what can happen. It might freak her out if she considers me only as a good friend.

Also another fact about this girl is that she does not date often. There is nothing wrong with her, it's just she is just never in a relationship. She has actually talked to me about this, and I have no idea why she is like that.

Anyone have any advice?

[prelude]

Thats pretty hard dude but, the fact she did say you was friends still haunts. Shes just really confortable with you like if you had a good friend that you can tell anything with and would love to spend time with them. I've been told a situation this from a girl who is friend who told me of this guy she was really good friends with and she told him we are just friends but, the guy didn't get the relationship between them so she had to tell that guy again and it didn't come out pretty. Maybe I could be wrong but, hey thats just me. Its like Vegas just got to look at the odds sometimes. If you want to chance it go a head there is always that chance I could be wrong.

[babybaby]

Thanks man, any other thoughts? I need to do something soon before or else I never will.

[rona]

I'm kind of in the same situation... I liked this girl A LOT as a friend but all the time I was hoping that we could be more. Then one day at a party we flirted a lot and even kissed a bit, but the next day it all seemed kind of awkward.
After that we weren't seeing each other as much as before, but we finally got to talk it through and agreed to just being friends. We were both at terms with that, and hung out a lot more again...
Then this weekend things went too far when we were drunk and we slept together. The next day we didn't talk about it, and I feared that we had just ruined our friendship forever. Luckily we've talked about it now and agreed that we went to far because of the alcohol and agreed to continue just being friends. But the way I felt the two days in between is the worst I have ever felt, because I almost lost her as a friend once, and I thought that now I had done it again...
So my advice is that if you really appreciate her as a friend, then let it stay at just that...

[c-phobe]

Oh, I hope I'm not too late. You mustn't confront this girl again. She's already told you how she feels, and suffice to say, she's not that into you. She may be confortable with you ,because she views you as her friend. It's safe to flirt with you(she might actually be doing that, or you are reading more into nothing), because she knows the friendship protects her. Trust me, I know of what I speak. I tend to come off as flirty around guys that I don't actually like, because I'm comfortable. They are either friends or guys that I'm just not attracted. Thus, I act like my regular crazy self. I clam up around guys that I do like. I fear that if you talk to her, she will blow you off, and you might lose the friendship. Are you willing to take that risk?

[djscram]

Go out with someone else. If this girl is happy for you, then she doesn't have those deeply-repressed feelings you're hoping she does. If she becomes jealous, ask her why. Either way, you've moved forward.

[edh1138]

Having been through this myself I'd say - stay friends.

We'd been friends for a while, very close friends, able to talk about anything and everything for hours on end. For a while I wanted things to be more romantic and sexual but for ages she didn't. Last February things changed and we started sleeping together.

I know why she changed her mind and also why in August she ended things between us. Although we stayed friends for a while everyone felt wrong. By November we weren't talking anymore.

[apeng]

Babybaby,

Two things you can do.
Ask her if she still feel the same as before, just remains friends. Ask her if she has changed her mind about that. Ask her if the two of you can go on with your lives separately. That is a gamble but it will clear up the air between you and her.
Or, do what I did when I was dating a classmate in college. I didn't know how to ask her to go steady, although we were very closed. So, one night when I was about to go home I asked her: Can I kiss you goodnight? She said yes(Patok).