Feeling like Usher with All These Confessions...
I’m just gunna put this one out there; I think I’m in love with my best friend.
As we all know I’ve been grafting on BG for pretty much a year now and within that time I’ve been friend zoned, sister zoned, daughter zoned and called a bike pretty much every single day, so let’s be honest, its hardly looking good for me is it?
I’m fully aware that I should have pied him at the beginning of the year when my five month sex free stint wasn’t good enough for him. I mean I know it doesn’t help that I’ve slept with a good chunk of his friends but I can’t help that. Everyone needs a good fucking every now and then don’t they!
Either way, I still fancy the fuck out of him.
This is the thing, we’ve always Facetimed every day and stuff but lately he’s gone back to his half six morning texts and the typical ‘goodnight ya slut’ messages before bed. I mean it’s hardly cute but it’s the thought that counts right?
Anyway, things got a bit weird last week. He’s been so down lately with working away and stuff, so I thought why not give him a quick Facetime and put a smile back on his face. It was just like any normal night slagging people off and thinking we’re hilarious until he propper killed the mood when he dropped the bombshell that he was falling for someone.
I’m sat there thinking well this is fucking awkward isn’t it. Just put a smile on your face because he’s looking at you.
Obviously not really knowing what to say I’m just like ‘oh really, you’ll have to tell me about her later’, with the worlds most forced smile on my face. I mean what a twat. Who responds like that really?
I don’t really know what he was expecting me to say when I’ve told him so many times that I like him. Don’t get me wrong he probably thinks I’m joking half of the time but still.
He got a bit weird with me and dropped the whole “forget it, it doesn’t matter don’t worry”.
Okayyyyy. Like sorry I’m not massively enthusiastic about this whole situation, I kinda feel like a right twat.
It was so fucking awkward though; we were both just sat there in silence, trying not to make eye contact with each other. I was kinda hoping I could fall off my windowsill to avoid being in such a horrible situation but I just didn’t know where I could land without smashing my TV.
Anyway, just when I thought the whole situation couldn’t get any worse, it did.
He sat staring at me and just went “C when are you going to tell me you love me?”
Erm, what the fuck do I say to that? Why are you playing with my emotions like this?
I just kinda brushed it off with a ‘shut up idiot, that’ll never happen’ which I regretted instantly. I do proper fancy him but fuck saying it to his face right now.
No surprise, we had another awkward moment. Well done C.
We’ve not really brought that conversation up anymore but now I’ve got this massive dilemma. Do I risk our friendship and tell him how I really feel about him, which could potentially leave me looking like a right twat, or do I just stay quiet and wait for the day he might tell me he fancies me?
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