Psycho Bitch #100

Imagine using your boyfriend’s finger print to access his phone, while he’s fast asleep, to find out he’s cheated on you… on Valentine’s Day?

That didn’t happen to me don’t worry. It didn’t actually happen at all.

It did however happen in the head of a girl who loves a bit of attention and drama. And guess what? I’m obviously the girl he ‘cheated’ on her with.

I’ll rewind it back a little bit for you - long story short, I was seeing a lad last year for about 4 months which ended because I was no longer prepared to carry on playing mammy at the age of 22. About two weeks after we ended things, he was Facebook official with this psycho bitch I’m on about.

You’d expect me to at least kick off with him a bit because there was clearly some overlap, but no, fuck that. I got on my flight to Florida and acted like a 5 year old, getting super excited every time I met a Disney character. Anyway, that was that.

Obviously I was deleted off every form of social media. I guess he was clarifying that the friendship was over right? I’m joking; he’s just a childish prick.

Literally about 5 months later I got a text off him out the blue, where he proved how much of a gentleman he still was. “I wanna fuck you again me”. Yeah that was the text I got off him. Don’t fucking hold back or out will you!

Now normally I’d be a bit of a whore and reply with something along the lines of "tonight?”. I’d obviously choose my emoji’s wisely to make it look like I’m kind of joking; however I can tell you now I’m being 100% serious.

Basically for the first time in my life I was considerate about his girlfriend and told him to sort things out with her, to which he replied “She’s just a shag, don’t worry about her, we're not even official”. She was obviously a lucky girl to find a keeper like him.

Anyway, after a lot of desperate texts from him, “we’ll have a quick one in the car” or “I’ll come see you and you can sort me out for 5”, I played on the whole ‘I’ve just had my boobs done, I can’t do anything’ card.

It obviously worked because I didn’t hear anything from him after this, not that I expected to. You’d think it was all forgotten about 5 months later though wouldn’t you?

Nope. That’s when the psycho bitch pops up.

After stalking his phone on holiday, she decides to start showing everyone pictures of me, telling them that I slept with her boyfriend ‘the other week’. Well let me just stop you there honey, I didn’t sleep with your boyfriend 5 months ago, never mind the other week. I could have, but I didn’t. Really you should be thanking me – slut.

She really thought she had one over on me when she messaged Sean, even though I’d fully prepared myself for it. A few days later, the wait was over. “I’ve heard you’re in a relationship with Christie and have been for a while, if this is true I have a lot to tell you”. It was at this point I had great satisfaction in replying with “Sean’s my best friend, not my boyfriend. And he’s in a relationship… with a lad. Soz hun”. Next time sort your detective skills out so you don’t look like a right twat eh. Dickhead.

7 months later she’s still banging on about it and she’s still telling people I slept with her boyfriend ‘the other week’. Like fucking hell, the other week has been dragging on for a while now hasn’t it!

The only thing I’ve learnt from the whole of it, isn’t about not texting lads in relationships even if they have no respect for their girlfriend, but that my friends will always have my back and defend me when they hear “Christie you fuckin slut”…


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