I can give you what no other man can.

A paper hat! Thats right ladies your own paper hat. I will make it for you out of that days paper. If you wish I can adorn it with frilly things and semi precious stones.

Wanna be a sexy pirate? Can do.
Wanna be a French emperor? No problem
A sweet cowgirl? I can make that happen.

Paper hat baby!

Unlock that free wheeling child in you with a paper hat. Quantities are limited, I think the Spokesman only puts out a thousand a day so get yours.

I come with the paper hat too.

Mid thirties? Yep
Average looking? As average as it gets
HWP? A few extra pounds
Single? You got it, women wont touch me
Ever married? See above
Have hair? More than others but spread out across my body so that no one part gets more than the other parts
Have teeth? All 68

Act now and I will build you a fort made from couch cushions.

This is a 30 day trial offer. If you decide, for any reason not to keep me keep the paper hat as my gift to you.